The bottle let me down

In any other context, the following paragraph would read like a Mad Lib. But with Michael Jackson and Macaulay Culkin's family in starring roles, this story seems just about right. From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

Former child star Macaulay Culkin's father, Kit Culkin, says he once discovered Michael Jackson and his then 2-year-old son, Rory, both sucking on baby bottles.

In an "Inside Edition" interview airing today, Culkin recalled the encounter, which he may include in a book.

When Culkin exclaimed, "Michael!" he said Jackson at first ignored him, then shrugged and continued sucking. Since Jackson wasn't using one of Rory's bottles, Culkin guessed he had his own.

Culkin said that Jackson seemed "harmless enough," that his children loved being with the pop star and that he didn't get bent out of shape over the bottle incident.

"I liked Michael very much when I first met him, and continued to regard him highly in the succeeding years," Culkin added.

Of course, that was one of Kit Culkin's many mistakes: Never trust a man who is willing to suck on baby bottles together with your two-year old son. Second mistake: Never leave Michael Jackson alone with your child. Also, Iove the inference that Jacko just has baby bottles laying around Neverland. Very stable. Harmless enough, too.

Stories like this are always the dream of headline writers. The PI topped the story with this headline: "A Different Kind of Drinking Buddy." The Miami Herald went with "Jackson Hits the Baby Bottle." My headline, on the other hand, makes no sense.