Letter of the week

Since I get very little in my blog's email address, this regular feature will spotlight junk mail until someone real writes me. And that may be a while. Comments or funny questions may be sent to orthogonianblog@yahoo.com.

This week's winner, James Momoh, writes to me from Lagos, Nigeria.

From: Dr.James Momoh.
H.O.D. Clinical Pharmacology,
University of Lagos,
Lagos State,
Nigeria.

I am Dr.James Momoh, the Head of Department of Clinical Pharmacology and Director of research, at the University of Lagos,Lagos State Nigeria. I write to solicit your assistance in a project of mutual benefits.

We got your contact over the Internet.

In February 1999, a research grant (US$12.5Million) was given to my department with I leading a team ofother clinical pharmacologists, by the Pharmaceutical Society of Nigeria, to conduct a research on the effect of a Slocal plant extract on Sickle Cell Disease in Nigeria.

The research has since been concluded (specifically in August 2002). Of the total amount given to us for the research purposes we only expended US$4.2Million leaving a balance of US$8.3 Million.

We are contacting you with a view to transferring this balance out for our own use. We have put in over 25 years of our lives into working for the government and as academics we do NOT have anything to show for it, hence this opportunity we see as a God-Sent one. We sincerely hope that you will be of assistance to us.

I implore you to treat this mail as confidentially as possible as we are still active academicians, though retiring in the first quarter of next year. If you are not in a position to assist us, do not respond to this mail and we apologize for taking your time. Upon receipt of your acceptance to assist us in this, we will negotiate on what should be your take from this ammount for helping us.

We await your response.

Sincrely yours.

Dr.James Momoh.

And here's the letter I wrot back to Dr. James Momoh:

Dear Dr. Momoh:

I have closely followed your experiments regarding the Slocal plant. It seemed to me that you were close to a breakthrough. Congratulations. I am also a big fan of the Lagos State Colonels football team. I'm expecting big things from them after their winning season last year.

Regarding your proposal: count me in. I am prepared to help you in any way possible. Please contact me via this email address and possibly later we should talk by phone.

Best regards,

The Orthogonian

I don't really know anything about his experiments or school, but thought he might be impressed if I did. And I could sure use a couple million dollars.