A Picture Share!

Pack up all your dishes...

Going away present

I'll be out for the next week in wonderful Gatlinburg, Tenn. The only means
of blog communication will likely be photos from my camera phone.

There could be big changes in store for this blog. Stay tuned for details.
Until then, enjoy two photos a friend took when he made it up to tiny
Crawford, Tex. for a screening of Fahrenheit 9/11. Michael Moore planned on
attending but dropped out at the last minute. It looks like everyone had a
good time regardless.

Pass the doobie to the left

Here's proof of my Ricky Williams theory.

Fun with photoshop

Anyone want to hazard a caption for this one?

2,000 words

A Picture Share!

Never mind my foot in the bottom left of the frame, check out the dude who brought his own computer stand with him to the coffee shop. Plus, check out the back support he put on before starting his work. Typing can be so strenuous.

And a word from George

"If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have,
I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all." -George W. Bush,
May 22, 2001

Silly Kerry quote 1

"I will stand up and struggle, as others have, to try to get that right balance between violence, and sex, and things."

On the grass, but not on the football field

Here's my new pet theory regarding Ricky Williams' retirement: He quit because he loves marijuana more than being an NFL running back. Look at these assorted Ricky quotes from the AP and Miami Herald:

You can't understand how free I feel.

This is an opportunity to be a real role model. Everyone wants freedom. Human beings aren't supposed to be controlled and told what to do. They're supposed to be given direction and a path. Don't tell me what I can and can't do. Please.

The people in Jamaica, living in these little tin shacks, they were the happiest people I've ever seen.

The NFL recently fined Ricky for his second marijuana violation since coming to the Dolphins, so we know he smokes. And recently he's been hanging out with Lenny Kravitz and Snoop Dogg and Jamaican people.

And after his recent trip to Australia (where ne no doubt consumed), he decided he'd rather live carefree and stare at pebbles than grind up defenses. Too bad Ricky still has a child's mentality. Hard work is just too hard.

A Picture Share!

Anyone want to hazard a guess where this is?

Say it ain't so, Ricky

Well, Ricky Williams has gone out and done something strange again. He's retired. Poor Ricky. He's been hanging out with Jim Brown and Robert Smith too often.

Fraud!

Travis' best post ever has been proven to be his worst. It wasn't Mike Piazza in Teen Wolf after all, despite my wishes. Check out where Travis went so, so wrong. [Hey Travis, you better hit me up with some pub after all this.]

Dentalwars

Travis loves Alex Jones, and I love conspiracy theorists too. Especially when I find their headquarters. Did you know The address published on the Infowars and Prisonplanet website actually is a Castle Dental Care center? Man, Alex can do radio and clean teeth. What a multitasker. Here's Alex's actual office (not the dentist's) in South Austin just off Manchaca:

Lookin' for love

I'll leave you to speculate about how this came up in conversation, but my friend Josh pointed me to one of the web's finest destination: www.meet-an-inmate.com. After a couple of minutes of browsing for the inmate of my dreams, I figured instead of meeting an inmate myself, perhaps I could play matchmaker.

Phillis is a 57-year old divorced White female with brown hair (but she keeps it blonde most of the time), brown eyes.  She's half Cherokee, half Irish.  She's a Taurus (sign, not car) which is very accurate.  She's very determined, family and friends are her top priority when she's not in the can.

Phyllis, meet Rickey.

He's a cute male inmate dude, looking for nice young woman who would like to share poetry and writing and playing music.  He's athletic (catches balls!), jogs and is in good health.  He draws abstract flowers, and is learning to read music and play the guitar.  He'd like a good female pen pal (Phyllis?) and the relationship could grow to an intimate one. He's open to young women ages 19-39 (not Phyllis) of any race or ethnic group. Another plus: he's liberal person and believes in the rights of women to choose, and live an independent life style.

How can we put these two together?

Piazza wolf

Travis says he's got the best post ever. You be the judge:

LINK!

The tracks of MM's tears (Politics, con't.)

Because I love it. And hate it.

I am usually amused when people like authors, singers, actors and media personalities start to bemoan their loss of first amendment rights (Doesn't anyone see the irony?). Whoopi was funny. The Linda Ronstadt story was really funny. But when Orthogonian-favorite Michael Moore gets involved, well, that's just too hard to pass up.

Here's the quick recap. Lina played a show in Vegas and took some time before playing her hit "Desperado" to vent against the President and dedicate the song to Moore (and his production, F9/11). According to the Las Vegas Sun, half the crowd erupted in boos, half cheered. Some of the crowd, who payed between $36 and $76 to hear Ronstadt sing, started to riot, tearing down posters, etc. Hundreds stormed out.

Well, Moore felt obliged to put something on his website. He's got Linda's back, you know. Said Moore on his website:

What country do you live in? Last time I checked, Las Vegas is still in the United States. And in the United States, we have something called "The First Amendment." This constitutional right gives everyone here the right to say whatever they want to say.

Something like that. But of course, Linda said exactly what she wanted to say. No one prevented her. The fact is fans came to see Ronstadt sing, not theorize on politics. Her employer, the theatre owner, didn't think she did a good job, so he fired her. Asked her to leave the premisis.

Moore's arguement that Linda's First Amendment rights have been abridged is kinda like the vaunted junior high free speech argument. According to the 14-year-old wisdom, any kid can tell off a teacher without fear of reprisal. Of course it ain't so.

First Amendment freedoms are not there to seperate actions from consequences. Sometimes there are reprecussions for the things that you say. Don't we all understand that? Liberals certainly do. Ask Rush Limbaugh, Trent Lott and other Republicans who have said stupid stuff and lost their jobs over it.

You can say anything you want without fear of government reproach, but you can't expect not to pummelled if you go insulting people, and you can't expect to keep your job if you tell off your employer or piss off your customers.

Why is this such a difficult concept? Am I missing something? Can you imagine a society where you couldn't be held responsible for the things you said?

And just so we know what we're all talking about, our First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The Globe's Daschle Vision

It didn't take long for the Boston Globe to employ its Daschle Vision. (That is, seeing Republican conspiracy in a Democratic scandal). The Globe made the timing of the Berger leak one of its front page stories today. CBS's Dan Rather was equally incensed by the obvious Republican conspiracy: "This was triggered by a carefully orchestrated leak about Berger, and the timing of it appears to be no coincidence."

As a recap, Daschle Vision is defined as seeing a vast right-wing conspiracy in the eye of a Democratic scandal storm. In this case, Democratic advisor to Sen. Kerry and former Clinton NSA Sandy Berger stuffed his trousers, socks and pockets with top-secret, classified documents while in the National Archive. This is a criminal matter and Berger could theoretically be jailed because of this. We could assume (perhaps even safely) that Republicans in the justice department leaked the story. Just making certain we understand what the real conspiracy is.

Daschle vision

You've got to love Sen. Tom Daschle's response to the story regarding former Clinton NSA Sandy Berger stuffing his pants full of classified documents and walking out of a secure room at the National Archive earlier this year. Berger only returned some of the documents after he was told he was under investigation. But not all of 'em - he says he just threw away others.

All this of course causes Sen. Daschle not to point at a Democratic conspiracy (conducted by a Democrat for a Democrat). Rather, Sen. Daschle, equipped with his special Daschle vision, he sees a vast right-wing conspiracy.

Yeah, I'm not certain what that means either. Maybe it's the ability to see a vast right-wing conspiracy even in a Democratic scandal. Truly unique.

Disturbing?

I don't get into this conversation much, but...

Is this woeful tale supposed to illicit sympathy for the mother? Is Costco really that bad? And from her disaffection towards Costco, is it any more clear that people in New York are dramatically different from those in Red States?

Isn't it disturbing that this woman went off the pill because she "didn't like how it made her feel" and then decided to off her twins because she didn't like how they'd make her feel either. The mayo made her do it. Sick.

wOOt

Me and ex-Gov. Ann Richards saw Napoleon Dynamite last night at the tiny Dobie Theatre in Austin. I've got to recommend watching this film. Especially with Ann. She laughed and laughed and laughed. Good for her. It was me, Ann, her daughter and about six teenagers - all oblivious.

-UPDATE-

Since reading the reviews on IMDB, I've decided this movie provides a mirror, reflecting the values of the reviewers. Some of these guys are dense. They complain about the nerdyness of Napoleon (that's the point). Some are so unfamilier with the concept of the high school nerd, they don't realize that it's funny the way he plays teatherball with himself and that he mouth breathes, and that he's so instantly negative (Gah... I HATE you).

Go see this movie. But don't expect to be amazed by it. It's not aiming high.

What's the dealio?

Whoopi Goldberg rants publicly about our President, rhyming his name with certain sexual euphemisms for the female genitalia, why are people stunned when Slim-Fast dumps her from their endorsement deal? Granted, the source is China's version of Pravda, but do people actually believe Whoopi has become the "latest victim of political backlash?"

This is crazy talk. Slim Fast has a right not to hire a spokeswoman who will go out and slander public officials. Besides the crassness of Whoopi's remarks and her overall lack of decency, businesses don't want to alienate one half of the U.S. population by aligning themselves with political fire breathers.

Why can't people understand that politically outlandish figures such as Whoopi don't make for good marketers? Why would a Republican buy Slim Fast if the company kept Whoopi on? Ever wonder why Newt Gingrich and Ted Nugent don't get endorsement deals?

Why do people confuse freedom of speech with freedom of broadcast without consequences? Sticks and stones, Whoopi.

Rumor Times

So what counts for front-page, above-the-fold news in the New York Times, our newspaper of record? Apparently, beltway rumors. Yesterday, the Times plastered on its front page a story that included the word 'rumor' in the headline. Since when do rumors become news? Especially when you consider the rumor and its source.

According to the Times, the theory has been "advanced privately by prominent Democrats, including members of Congress" saying our Pres. Bush will soon dump Dick Cheney from the tickett. Obviously, speculating Democrats are reliable sources when it comes to the strategery of a Republican president.

Even ABC's website feature, The Note, pondered just how author Elisabeth Bumiller got the story on the front page of the paper which claims it's "all the news that's fit to print."

How the talented Ms. Bumiller gets just above the front-page fold of her paper today with a story that includes the word "rumor" in the headline is really beyond us. ... Bumiller's story has some clever suggestions that Republicans are a part of a three-way conversation on this, but for the most part, this is a Democrat-and-media dialogue.

Long live Molvania

Let this be a rallying cry to all those out there who are something or another. Long live Molvania!

Again, not a let down. Lyrics are here: 5 4 3 1 OFF BLAST!

Hello my name is...

It's hard to work up sympathy for scam artists, especially after they go after you. So what did one British man do about scammers claiming to be sons of African chieftains? Scam 'em back. As I learned first hand, you can start a dialogue with some of these Nigerian scam artists who claim they just want to use you to launder money. But this man went a step further. He told the Nigerian he would only help him with the scam if he painted his chest, took a picture and emailed it to him.

This will not dissapoint: Link!

Stick figures

Worth the time? Um... Link!

They Issued Me Credentials Before They Didn't

This is interesting. Bloggers who were offered spots at the DNC might not be welcome to go after all - that is, if they're Republicans.

Bowled over

The union underground at the U-Texas campus is one of my favorite places. And ever since the union became one big "hot spot" (and once my computer had that technology, and once I went back to Austin), the underground became a much cooler place.

Right now, a bunch of kids are bowling. But why would parents let two year olds bowl? When they do, you end up with scores below 20 - even with bumpers. Right now some mom is throwing her foot over the line, disqualifying her kid. He's not upset - he just chucked a six-pound bowling ball 1.92 mph, if the Quibic system is to be trusted.

Saddam farkle

Let's start this off with a definition of farkle: As I know it, farkleing is a fancy way of saying the game known also as rock paper scissors.

According to sources, deposed Iraqi beardocrat Saddam Hussein loves to farkle. He apparently even launched into a game during his recent arraignment.

Sample:

cutline: "I've got an idea! Let's play a game of Rock Paper Scissors!"

Enjoy, and watch out for the vaunted Tiger Paw.

Bea Arthur update

For those wondering what the Golden Girls' Dorothy Zbornak is doing these days, I've found her. She's doing a PETA ad, but not with Blanche Devereaux. Instead she's going after Kentucky Fried Chicken. To be balanced, it must be known PETA knowlingly and unapologetically links itself with enviro-terrorists who bomb factories and torch slaughterhouses.

I have a hard time getting outraged by slaughterhouses like some PETA people do. It's because what most animal rights activists are really upset with is the eventual killing of the animal. The torture is a secondary issue. They say "fur is murder" but they never say "getting fur is torture." They don't literally mean it, either (DSH, ST).

What I did find interesting was that Bea Arthur isn't just a PETA lady, she also has a posse. Presumably a granola-toting, latte-sipping, animal-freeing posse.


The ringleader

Sorry Post, it's not Gephardt

New York Post made the classic faux pas, claiming Kerry's VP would be the Missouri Rep. Dick Gephardt. In typical Post fashion, the paper spilled huge amounts of ink on a file photo of "the turtle" and a headline claiming Gephardt would be Kerry's selection.

Of course, it isn't Gephardt, but rather NC Sen. John Edwards who will be Kerry's running mate. The gaffe reminds me of another famous presidential race moment:

Exploded whale

I've always heard about the great exploding whale story. Well, here it is.

When a 45-foot whale washed up and died on an Oregon beach, highway department officials tried to find a way to get rid of the rotting carcass. Since they couldn't cut it up, bury it or sink it, they chose the junior high solution to the problem: they blew the whale up. When mixing a 45-foot whale carcass and a half-ton of dynamite, you can expect sensational results. This website has the video (click video on the left).

***Manute Bol update***

For those who haven't heard, former NBA-star Manute Bol was seriously injured in a car accident Wednesday night.

While travelling in Connecticut, Bol, the NBA's tallest player ever at 7-foot-7, was thrown from the back seat of a cab after the car hit a guardrail. Bol was taken by helicopter to a Hartford hospital where a friend told AP he had a long road to recovery.

Hillary in San Fran

First, I've got to apologize for my recent full-throtle political rants. It's just on the brain these days.

So Hillary is out in San Fran raising money. While there, she tells a crowd (who obviously wants to hear her wack Republicans) she's working to beat the Republicans' "extraordinarily ruthless machine."

I don't know what Hillary thinks Republican lawmakers are doing: cutting toes off babies, putting cyanide in our cheerios, taking Oreo cookies apart, licking them and then putting them back together...

But I do know what Hillary's up to. "Many of you are well enough off that ... the tax cuts may have helped you," the SF Chronicle recorded Sen. Clinton as saying. "We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

This last sentence is priceless. Nothing shows her Mother-knows-best-(Gov't.)-you-no-good-child-(taxpayers) ideology.

Chickens aren't scared

Since teams are walking San Francisco slugger Barry Bonds so often, the club has started handing out rubber chickens to shake at terror-stricken pitchers who issue Bonds the intentional walk. The San Francisco Chronicle ran a column about this, and I still can't decide which part of the story is funnier. Here are the two options:

1) By the sixth paragraph, the columnist actually feels the need to, like a political story, give both sides of the story. So what does he do? He finds some people to challenge the notion that chickens are chicken. Can you imagine the editor? "Uh, Tom, this story is great. I especially liked the way you balanced it out and didn't bias it against chickens. Good jorb."

2) The people he finds to defend the honor of the fowl do so with such gusto it's amazing. Are chickens really chicken? "They certainly are not,'' UC Davis professor Francine Bradley told the Chronicle in defense of her feathered friends. "Your question pushes my button of irritation because we hear this all the time. As a poultry scientist, it disturbs me greatly. Chickens are known for their bravery and tenacity."

Chicken: brave and tenacious. UC Davis poultry science department: chicken about chickens.

Take the test

It's official: America is getting stupider. This first proof is the most interesting. Remember what your 8th grade finals were like? Well after looking at the 8th grade final exam from a school in Salina, Kans. circa 1895, I'm convinced I got it easy. Check it out. Another page has a student's responses.

Not convinced? Check out this NYTimes story. We've heard it before: Our students get beat badly in international science and math competitions. But it's a bit more complicated than that. As the NYT story indicates, our kids do quite well in 4th grade. But by 8th grade, they slip to the middle of the pack. By high school, we're downright idiots ready to perform for the Tonight Show's Jay-walking segment.

How is it that the more classes American school children actually attend, the stupider they become compared to their international colleagues? I've got one quick theory. Basic math and science skills often take a back seat to the cultural roles our schools try and play.

Here's what I mean. Just look at the National Education Association's website. That's the teachers' union that basically controls curriculum in this country. The word 'algebra' generates just half the results as the word 'gay' does. And 'transgendered' earns more hits than 'trigonometry.' Condom is more popular than atom with the NEA. Most startling is the word 'tolerance' which gets 170 hits on the NEA website. That's more than any of these school-related words: grammar, geography, spelling, chemistry, biology, physics or PE. There was one word that drew more attention from NEA – discrimination.

I wonder if we're too busy trying to indoctrinate our kids into society and not worrying enough about their basic math skills. Is it possible that all this cultural instilling is getting in the way of real school?